It certainly wasn't a bad apology

I fashion myself to be something of an expert when it comes to apologizing.

I’ve certainly had lots of practice, and have even gone so far as to publish a not-yet-patented guide to formulating an effective apology:

• State what it is you said or did

• Acknowledge the impact your actions had

• Apologize

• (Optional) Brief — and I mean BRIEF — explanation of your actual intentions

• State offers of amends or remedy

So that’s the criteria. Now let’s look at what Williams posted on his Instagram account:

The statement itself is 127 words, 37 of which constitute the apology.

1. ☑️ State what it is you said or did.

   It’s possible to quibble about this. Williams could have been more specific by stating he was sorry he posted an announcement during the celebration of life for Mia Hamant. He also could have given a non-apology apology, though, saying he was sorry “if anyone thought” this was a distraction of “if anyone felt” he was taking attention away from the memorial.

   He clearly stated he was sorry for doing this at the same time the memorial for Mia Hamant was taking place.

2. 🔲 Acknowledge the impact your actions had.

There’s an implicit recognition of the impact when he says, “I never intended to call attention away from such an important moment.” He doesn’t spell it out, though, and since I provided the benefit of the doubt in the first category, I’ll be a little more scrutinizing in this one especially because it would have required no additional words to say, “I will always feel bad for any attention I drew away from such an important moment.”

3. ☑️ Apologize.

He did that explicitly, and there was no “if” attached.

4. 🔲 (Optional) brief explanation.

Honestly, any explanation of his intentions would have sounded like an excuse.

Apology grade: B

Strengths

1. It’s an actual apology. He doesn’t say he’s sorry if people felt this was a distraction. He doesn’t say he’s sorry if anyone who was upset. He states that he’s apologizing.

2. He makes it clear what he’s apologizing for, which is that the timing coincided with the memorial for Mia Hamant.

3. He doesn’t spend more time trying to explain or justify himself. He apologized for the timing. He said this wasn’t his intention.

Flaws

1. He could have been clearer about the specific action he was apologizing for. Saying “the timing of these events coincided with the celebration of life for Mia Hamant” is a dodgy choice of words. He could have been clearer that “timing” meant an announcement was posted to his social-media account.

2. He could have acknowledged the anger and disappointment this triggered for fans and addressed a desire to earn back their trust.

Initially, I did not feel that second point was necessary. I do after reading Christian Caple’s thoroughly excellent column at OnMontlake.com about the need for Demond Williams to sit in front of reporters and offer a more thorough and extensive explanation about what exactly happened.