Victor Robles's apology grade: C-

Why you may want to read this: Apologies don’t tend to work when they’re focused on you. 

Why you may not: Everyone knows you can’t throw a bat at another player. Not even if you’re really mad.

What happened: Mariners outfielder Victor Robles was hit by a pitch in the third inning of a minor-league game between Tacoma and Las Vegas. The pitch was very high and very inside.

Robles swung in what appeared to be self-defense. He was angry about being hit. This is understandable especially when you learn it’s the fourth time in that particular series that he’d been hit by a pitch.

However, Robles then picked up his bat and whipped it in the direction of the pitcher.

He was understandably ejected. He also had to be restrained from going after the pitcher further.

Afterward, Robles posted an apology via his Instagram story. I couldn’t find the actual post so I’m linking to a CBS Sports story that documented it:

Apology Grade: C-

I feel like a jerk saying that. I completely understand (and have experienced) how the death of a parent can be a devastating and destabilizing experience. As someone with a temper, I understand what it feels like to snap, and to do or say things that I wind up regretting.

I’m basing my grade on my scorecard, though. Using the Apology Assembly Guide that I’ve previously mentioned.

1. State what it is you said or did.

   🔲 He referred to it as “my recent reaction on the field” and said he “reacted in a way I’m not proud of.”

2. Acknowledge the impact your actions had.

   ☑️ “I understand how that may have affected not just the game, but the energy and respect we all work so hard to maintain.” 

3. Apologize.

   ☑️ “I want to take a moment to sincerely apologize for my recent reaction on the field.”

    

4. (Optional) A brief — I mean BRIEF — explanation.

   🔲 “Coming off a long rehab and being away from the game for most of the season has been challenging. Adding to that, the recent passing of my mother has been incredibly hard, and I've been doing my best to hold it together. That's not an excuse, but some context I feel you deserve to understand where I'm coming from. Getting hit (five) times in 15 at-bats added to that pressure …”

   Pro tip: If you use the words “that’s not an excuse” in your apology, that’s a really good sign that what you’re referring to shouldn’t be in the apology.

5. State any offers of amends or changes you will make.

   ☑️ “I'm committed to being better, not just as a player, but as a teammate and competitor. I appreciate your understanding, and I'm grateful to be back on the field doing what I love.”

6. (optional) Repeat your apology.

   🔲 

 More importantly, here’s a list of the things that were missing from the apology:

• Robles did not specify he threw a bat.

• He did not mention the pitcher he threw the bat at.

• He did not mention the physical risk that act posed, referring rather to the “energy” and “respect” that “we all work so hard to maintain.”

His statement totaled 195 words. Seventy of them were dedicated to explaining the difficulties he’s faced this season from the injury to the passing of his mother to being hit by a pitch five times so far during his rehab assignment.

All that may help explain why he snapped. An apology isn’t about getting other people to understand what you’re going through, however. The purpose of an apology is to provide a framework for moving forward, and the best way to do that is to acknowledge what you did, recognize it was wrong, express regret and – if possible – provide some sort of assurance that you will not repeat that act in the future.