The Seattle Mariners have run into a bit of a problem with the fifth slot in the starting rotation.
That problem, however, is not about results.
It’s about branding.
Seattle has allowed an average of two runs and 5.5 hits in the two times it has deployed the so-called piggyback strategy.
But no one seems particularly happy with the arrangement.
Not Luis Castillo, who was seen throwing things in the dugout after he was removed from Monday’s game in West Sacramento after throwing four scoreless innings.
Not Bryce Miller, who conceded he’s “not very comfortable” with the whole idea in Adam Jude’s first-hand account of the situation, which was published in The Seattle Times.
And there are a number of people who think the whole thing is a bit amateurish, Mickey Mouse or (my personal favorite) Harry High School.1
Yet the results are observably fantastic.
In the two “piggyback” games, Castillo and Miller have pitched 17 innings combined with an ERA of 2.11 and 21 strikeouts.
Additionally, I think there’s a strong rationale here:
The emergence of Emerson Hancock gives the Mariners six capable starting pitchers.
If you were going on results, Castillo is the one you’d pull from the rotation, but he’s a high-paid veteran who has rebounded from struggles like this before.
It’s unlikely all six starters will remain healthy the rest of the year.
While Miller works his way back from injury, keep Castillo “stretched out” as a starter, to use baseball lingo.
If it works – which it has – it takes a load off your bullpen.
Yet the players and a chunk of fans remain decidedly against the idea.
Part of this, I believe, has to do with the word “piggyback." =
It sounds childish. Unserious. Something that is unbefitting grown-ass men.
So let’s change it.
They are the Mariners’ new tag team.
No, wait. They’re better than that.
(Clears throat)
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The Seattle Mariners proudly brings to you the top tag team in all of MLB …
“Luis ‘The Rock’ Castillo and the guy who’s always twice as nice, Bryce (dramatic pause) Miiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllller.”
If you need help visualizing this, here’s what it might sound like.
Baseball allows flamethrowers and light shows when a closer enters the game, why not have a dramatic mid-game exchange?
Perhaps Miller finds himself on the ropes in the fifth inning of Sunday’s game against Arizona. He’s dodged bullets over the first few innings, allowed some traffic, but managed to keep the Diamondbacks from scoring.
Then, the first two baserunners reach in the fifth inning, and manager Dan Wilson heads to the mound at which point …
(Sound of glass shattering plays over the PA system)
“Wait. What’s that?!?!?” Aaron Goldsmith asks the TV audience.
Castillo emerges from the Mariners bullpen and runs toward the mound.
“That’s the Rock, coming in to save his tag-team partner!” Goldsmith says, channeling his inner Jim Ross. “Business is about to pick up.”
There are marketing possibilities, too.
If you’re allowed to wave a 10-pound fork in the dugout after hitting a home run, certainly a pair of gold-plated championship belts could be part of the game-day regalia.
It would take something people feel sheepish about and make it unique—something to be proud of.
More than anything, it would provide a way to get over any hurt feelings, because the truth is that the most important measure of a strategy is not how it makes participants feel. It’s about the results it yields.
And so far, the piggyback approach is working even if it sounds dumb as hell.
The NBA board of governors voted to expand the NBA lottery from 14 teams to 16 and to introduce measures to combat the odious practice of tanking.2
The NBA determines its draft order using a lottery, which weights the chances of the various teams according to order of finish. In the future, the lottery odds will be predicated by tiers instead of varying depending on the exact order of finish.
The bottom three teams in the league will each have a 5.4 percent chance of landing the top overall pick.
The teams that finish fourth-worst to 10th-worst will each have an 8.1 percent chance.
In other words, teams get punished for being truly terrible, and there’s an incentive for bad teams to continue trying.
The teams that finish 9th and 10th in their respective conferences will have a 5.4 percent chance at the top overall pick, and the team that loses the No. 7 vs. No. 8 play-in game will have a 2.7 percent chance.
Of course, there’s one way that would immediately eliminate tanking: relegation.
Instead of getting worse odds in the lottery, kick the worst three teams down to the G League. Let’s see how the threat of missing out on a year of the NBA TV deal motivates improvement.
This happens in soccer leagues all over the globe. It doesn’t happen in America, though. We protect franchises from their own ineptitude, and teams are taking advantage of that, knowing there’s a limited penalty for being god-awful.
As a matter of fact, relegation is exactly what college football could use, too. Why should Northwestern be assured of the annual Big Ten payout while the Cougs are locked into the Remixed Pac-12?
1 Hugh Millen may not have coined this term, but he’s the one I’ve heard use it, and it always makes me laugh.
2 Tanking is a process in which a franchise builds its team designed to be bad in the upcoming season. The franchise, in fact, wants to be bad so it will be awarded better draft choices and presumably improve chances of being successful three, four, or five years down the road. The NBA is where this occurs most frequently, but it’s becoming more common in Major League Baseball and the NFL. It’s a terrible practice.