🚨 Maye Day, Maye Day 🚨

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

You don’t spit into the wind.

You don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger.

And don’t test the End Zone of Destiny, at least not if you’re expecting to win.

Apparently no one advised Drake Maye of this little ditty, however, because the Patriots quarterback decided to throw caution — as well as his team’s chances at a game-tying FG—into Seattle’s own version of the Bermuda Triangle.

Let’s set the stage, first.

The Patriots had the ball, third-and-5 at the Seattle 16 with 32 seconds remaining.

They trailed by three, which meant that at the very least they should have a chip-shot field goal to force overtime against a team playing with its backup quarterback.

Should have.

But that third-and-5 turned out to be the Patriots’ last snap from scrimmage.

First, it’s worth noting New England had its two offensive tackles cut block Seattle’s defensive ends.

This is a strategy usually employed in the “quick game” that football savants love to gush over. They’re talking about screens and quick slants. Ideally, a cut block takes a defensive end off his feet. At the very least, it keeps him from raising his hands above his head.

It is not a preferred method of drop-back protection because after diving at the opponent’s legs to execute the cut block, the offensive lineman is rendered a speed bump.

In this play, Lawrence actually hurdles the cut block.

As you can see, the Seahawks are rushing four. Hall (58) is leery of the running back who has released out of the backfield; Leonard Williams (99) has an eye out for Maye scrambling, while Byron Murphy (engaged by a blocker) and Lawrence push toward Maye.

Maye then stepped back and lobbed the ball toward the corner of the end zone.

Now it’s possible that Maye was trying to throw the ball out of the side of the end zone, and he couldn’t get enough on the ball as he was falling backward.

More likely, he was throwing a jump ball toward Mack Hollins, hoping his (taller) receiver would make a play against Seattle’s (shorter) corner.

The result, however, was a pass Jobe was perfectly positioned to defend, and the ball was arced high enough he even had time to make sure he touched both feet in the end zone for the game-sealing interception.

For the first three quarters of Seattle’s season-opener, I listened to NBC’s Chris Collinsworth gush about how much better the Patriots handled Seattle’s blitzes this time around.

And in a technical sense, I suppose this was true.

The Patriots were better this time around, but that’s largely a reflection of how utterly impotent New England’s offense was in the Super Bowl.

Because despite all this purported progress in the Patriots’ preparation, New England managed fewer than 200 yards of offense and scored just 10 points over the first three quarters of Wednesday’s season-opener.

That was before quarterback Drake Maye spent the fourth quarter throwing up on himself.

I am tempted ot attribute this to the End of Zone of Destiny since that’s the direction the Patriots were headed in that final period.

That would be silly, though. There’s no way one end of the Seahawks’ stadium exerts that kind of gravitational pull in a game played with a ball that’s designed to bounce funny.

When it was all over, the Patriots offensive totals didn’t look any better than what they’d put up in last February.

I think the Seahawks played great on defense.

The only touchdown they allowed came off of a pass-interference penalty that occurred on a trick play.

The only field goal they allowed came after a penalty for roughing the Patriots punter.

Now, Devon Witherspoon did not sack Maye with the same impunity as he did in the Super Bowl, but the Patriots weren’t burning Seattle off its blitzes, either.

Maye knew the ball needed to come out, and for the first three quarters, he did exactly that. He checked it down. He threw to the flat. He made third downs manageable.

Seattle seemed content to keep the pass pressure dialed up as they disguised their coverages, believing that Maye would eventually try and push the ball downfield.

Guess what?

Maye did eventually try to push the ball downfield.

To disastrous results.

First, he tried to rip a throw outside the numbers to Romeo Doubs, only to have Rodney Thomas, Seattle’s No. 3 free safety, tip the pass that Nehemiah Pritchett intercepted.

Then, safety Julian Love read Mayes’ eyes for the first interception, cutting in front of Pop Douglas to pick off the pass.

Then came the most painful of the picks.

When Maye threw the ball, it was to the one place he absolutely shouldn’t have.